If Godzilla and King Kong Could Speak: A Comic Movie Tragedy

Imagine a world where the mightiest monsters on earth could vocalize their might, and their interactions might sound like something straight out of a comedy skit. What if King Kong and Godzilla, two of the most popular and recognizable fictional creatures, could engage in a dialogue that makes their roar combat seem tame by comparison? Let's explore what these two iconic monsters might say in a hypothetical movie trailer where they vocalize their strength and intentions.

King Kong: The Mighty Ape

King Kong, the giant primate, is no simple brute. He holds a regal air about him, much like a king on his throne. If he could speak, his first line might be, "I am a king." But as the tensions rise and the battles intensify, his exchanges with Godzilla become anything but courteous.

King Kong vs. Godzilla

King Kong (KK): I am a King.
Godzilla (GZ): I am a God.
KK: I have an axe.
GZ: I have ze nuclear breath.
KK: I will fart at you.
GZ: F you.
KK: I will pick my nose and put it on you.
GZ: You a piece of sh!t.
KK: I am physically stronger than you so I will rip off your head.
GZ: Has left the chat.

Pick Your Battles

But wait, it gets even comical when they actually decide to face off. Godzilla, as scarily large and powerful as he is, gets caught up in the chaos and ends up apologizing for intruding. Meanwhile, King Kong ends up questioning why he's always the villain in recent films while Godzilla was the hero.

Godzilla's Complaints

GZ: Stupid humans get out the way!!! Can’t you see I’m swimming here! (GZ: Bloody humans so inconsiderant.)
KK: I have a feeling something’s under there.
KK: Come out! Come out! Kill me! Come on here I am kill me!
KK: Psych.
GZ: Hi.
GZ: Not here to fight… I just want to know why I am the bad guy now in the last couple of films I was the unlikely hero type. Could someone please explain.

Scale and Superpowers

As the scenes unfold, King Kong wonders about the unfairness of his size and strength, which have been multiplied tenfold. Godzilla, on the other hand, is dealing with the addition of a new superpower: the Storm Breaker. This absurdity leads King Kong to question the logic of Hollywood.

King Kong's Dilemma

KK: Not only have they multiplied your size and strength by tenfold… But now they give you storm breaker as well!!
KK: So unfair!!
KK: I signed up to fight the twenty-five foot primate that climbed the Empire States Building and was killed by some old fashioned aeroplanes…
KK: Not some 100ft super gorilla with a magic atomic-blast absorbing axe!!!!
KK: I need a new agent!
KK: Raaargh!!! I hate Hollywood!!!

Behind the Scenes

Even the humans behind the scenes seem to be confused. A human grabs both monsters and shouts, "Hey Godzilla! What! The 1998 version was better than you! FAQ WUT! Bursts out of water YOU’RE GONNA GET IT NOW! BACK UP DUDE WE HAVE TO FOLLOW COVID REGULATIONS!"

And then there's Mechagodzilla, ready to smack Michael Bay for the treatment of Bumblebee. Humans scream in terror, not knowing what's going on.

Key Takeaways:

King Kong and Godzilla are not just big, they are powerful and proud figures. Their interactions, if vocalized, might be more humorous and surprising than one would expect. Their combat dynamics and the challenges they face in Hollywood are worth laughing at.

Topic Tags: Godzilla, King Kong, Movie Trivia, Monster Movies, Roar Combat.