The Star Wars Rewriting Project: A Dream of New Possibilities

Imagine having the dream to completely rewrite and reimagine the iconic Star Wars series. What if you were given the rights and the power to do just that? This hypothetical scenario allows us to explore new possibilities and imagine a version of Star Wars that aligns more closely with our contemporary values and sensibilities. Here’s a detailed look at what such a project might entail.

The Rewriting Plan: A Step-by-Step Approach

Step 1: Reevaluate and Restructure the Later Films

First, let’s tackle the later films: Episodes VII–IX. The original plan involves decanonizing these films and potentially rebooting them. But how about a different approach? Rather than a full reboot, we could re-edit Episodes VII–IX with specific goals in mind. The goal would be to remove some of the overly complex and potentially offensive elements, such as the more controversial and arguably racist aspects of The Phantom Menace (TPM).

To achieve this, TPM would undergo a significant re-edit. The aim is to address and mitigate the issues that have been widely criticized. Specifically, Darth Binks could be reinterpreted to align more with a darker and more sinister character, striking a balance with the theory of Darth Binks. This would involve a careful re-drafting of the script and a thorough re-editing of key scenes to remove or modify elements that contribute to the perceived racism.

Step 2: Cleanup the History and Lore

Step 2 involves a comprehensive cleanup of the history and lore. This would include revising the more outlandish and illogical aspects of the Force. For instance, the entire concept of Midichlorians could be reimagined to remove the notion that they are the cause of the Force; instead, they could be presented as a factor that is attracted to it. Additionally, the Turbolaser damage bounds would be reevaluated and potentially adjusted for a more grounded and realistic approach.

A significant portion of the EU (Expanded Universe) content would be considered for decanonization. This includes certain books, games, and other media that do not align with the vision for the new Star Wars canon. This decision might be tough, but it is crucial for maintaining consistency and clarity in the expanded universe.

Step 3: Reinterpret Classic Narratives

The third step would be to reinterpret classic narratives and scenes. One such reimagining would involve changing the pivotal moment in The Empire Strikes Back. The canonical scene where Yoda and Luke first meet does not flow naturally. Imagine a new, more powerful scene where Luke doesn’t attempt to shoot first, ensuring a more engaging conflict. Additionally, removing the extended dance scene and preventing Hayden Christensen from becoming a force ghost could enhance the story structure and thematic coherence.

The original trilogy, Episodes IV, V, and VI, would be fully remastered and released in 4k. This would include cleaning up visual and technical elements while carefully integrating elements from the later rebuilds to enhance the quality and atmosphere of the films. The goal is to maintain the characterisation and storyline of the original trilogy while improving the overall cinematic experience.

Step 4: Retool the Empire for Modern Audiences

Step 4 would involve a significant reimagining of the Empire. The classic portrayal of the Empire as a monolithic force of evil would be explored in a more nuanced way. The goal is to allow the audience to see the Empire’s complexities and shades of grey. This would include showing instances where the Empire protected and prevented massacres, similar to the glimpses we have seen in Rogue One.

By presenting a more balanced and realistic portrayal of the Empire, we can humanize the characters and create a more engaging and thought-provoking series. This reimagining would also help to eliminate the over-simplification that has become a hallmark of the original trilogy.

Step 5: The New Trilogy

With the groundwork laid, it’s time to venture into uncharted territory. The new trilogy would focus on the post-Empire era, exploring the remnants of the Empire and the New Republic. Set approximately 30-50 years after the first trilogy, this new trilogy would delve deep into the lives of the remaining Empire members as they attempt to retain some semblance of control in a changing galactic landscape.

The main character would be Finn, who has undergone an extensive journey. His story would chronicle his rise from a kidnapped child, through the ranks of Stormtroopers, and ultimately to a position within the New Republic. We would see his transformation from a mere pawn of the Empire to a key player in the struggle for balance between the Sith and the Jedi. The New Jedi Order would be introduced, and the Grey Council could be a focal point of exploration, representing a balance between passion and sterility.

End Game: Raking in the Profits

Ultimately, the end goal is to spend a lifetime reaping the financial rewards while showing no interest in the series itself. We would simply churn out more content, maintaining a focus on merchandising while allowing the creative team to take the reins and produce new and engaging narratives.

Just like the current approach, we would retain the rights to merchandising, ensuring a steady income stream. However, the quality of the content would be paramount. The project would not shy away from creating origin stories for beloved characters like Jar Jar Binks, adding more depth and complexity to the universe. Additionally, the project could include the addition of new elements inspired by other fictional universes, such as Vulcans and Klingons from Star Trek.

So, let’s imagine a Star Wars that focuses on nuance, complexity, and a return to the roots of the series. With a structured approach, we can create a compelling and engaging version of Star Wars that respects and honors the legacy of the original trilogy.